The best way to learn this form of communication is to first understand that there are four different personality types that are selectively dominant in individuals. Although there are many different names for and ways of looking at these personality types, I have chosen the D.I.S.C. method for purposes of this blog.
Why should you care what your team mates' personality type is if you are in a professional setting? Because if you do not, you will not know the difference between enthusiasm and sarcasm, you will not recognize the difference between professionalism and resentment, and worst of all, you will not know when the "S" types are being dominated by the "D" types because neither one of these people will know that it is happening. Then, the "Ds" will feel like they have to babysit and the "Ss” will feel like they have to ask for permission and wait for results.
So, what does each of these personality types entail? A "D" is innately "dominant." He or she asks "what?" and is competitive, strong-willed, control-focused, outgoing, independent, fearless, direct and detail-oriented. These are all great characteristics in a leader as long as the "D" is aware that his or her competitive nature must be used for healthy, positive competition and as the driving force behind projects. The "D" must be strong-willed in his or her opinions but be aware that it is important to listen and appreciate others opinions as well. Being independent is great, but the "D" must be careful to include his or her teammates in projects by not dominating the execution. It is mostly when the "D" is feeling unappreciated, most likely due to his or her habit of excluding or dominating others, that he or she will fall behind in workloads and lose enthusiasm. Because fo this common feeling, the "D" is usually afraid of being taken advantage of. On the other hand this strong-willed, independent, detail-oriented, enthusiastic person is proven to not only be great in a crisis, but also function well with heavy workloads.
Next is the "I." The "I" is also outgoing but he or she shows this trait in other ways than the "D." The "I" is influential and easily influenced. He or she asks "who?" instead of "what?" because the "I" is people-oriented rather than detailed-oriented. Other traits of this personality type include being interactive, enthusiastic, expressive, accepting, receptive, agreeable, trusting and impulsive. Because of these traits, others may see the "I" as too happy, too friendly, lazy, and unprofessional. This is because these traits help to move the "I" towards being loud, fun and inattentive to detail. The "I" is usually afraid of rejection. If the "I" and his or her teammates are aware of the true nature of this leader, the awareness will most likely result in being creative, a team motivator, recognition of a positive sense of humor, and a peacemaker.
The other people-oriented personality type is the "S." The "S" asks "how?" instead of "what?" or "who?" because he or she is steady and stable. The "S" is also accepting, receptive, and agreeable like the "I" but shows these traits in other ways. The "S" is known to be accomodating, harmonizing, a team player, a good listener, possessive, understanding, thoughtful, moderate-paced, careful, inquiring and reserved. The greatest misconception of the "S" is that he or she can only be a "yes man." Because of his or her reserved and harmonizing nature, the "S" want to make everybody happy and often forgets to think of his or herself. This results in becoming a dormat and therefore a loss of security. If the "S" is aware of his or her innate habits, this can be avoided. Instead, the "S" must focus on what they can do for people by listening needs and executing those needs in their own way. The "S" must give his or her teammates clear definitions on what they are going to do and how they decided to accomplish the overall goals of the team, not just of those that are naturally overpowering. Therefore, the other members of the team must constantly show appreciation to the "S" types and provide a team atmosphere where the "S" is optimistically encouraged to speak his or her mind.
The final personality type is the "C." The "C" is conscientious and therefore inquiring like the "S" and powerful like the "D." This makes him or her reserved and detail-oriented. The "C" is also analytical, task-oriented, private, questioning, skeptical, logic-focused, challenging, thoughtful, moderate-paced and careful. The first question that the "C" asks in any given situation is "why?" The downfall to this eager minded individual is that he or she often takes too much time to complete a project and is interpreted as too picky, uncaring, overpowering, and too slow. Unfortunately, due to the amount of focused, silent concentration, the "C" has a habit of not expressing his or her thoughts during brainstorming phases. This is because of the "Cs" biggest fear of being criticized before an incomplete idea or project. It is the responsibility of the team to encourage the "C" to exchange ideas and give him or herself deadlines that the team will approve in a positive light. If the rest of the team only took the time to understand the "C," they would realize that when his or her projects are completed, they are flawless. They would realize that the "C" actually cares more than most people about the details of projects and the people involved because his or her analytical nature allows for a deeper understanding. The "C" must always remember to be open about his or her ideas and activities and accepting of the ideas and activities of others. He or she must always remember that although he or she may be better at outlining details, there are always many ways to execute a project or idea and thinking outside of the box is the best way to work in a team.
As you have probably noticed, you have characteristics of all of these personality types. The hardest part in this analyzation process is to realize what your most dominating personality is when you are in a professional setting. This may change in your personal life as you react to and interpret personal situations and relationships much differently than your professional situations and relationships. The first step in figuring out what you is to determine whether you are outgoing or reserved. Then, determine whether you are people-oriented or detail-oriented. If you are outgoing and detail-oriented, you are most likely a "D." If you are outgoing and people-oriented, you are most likely an "I." If you are people-oriented and reserved, you are most likely a "S." If you are reserved and detail-oriented, you are most likely a "C."
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